We tend to talk about belief as a set of rational tenets that we either affirm or not. The origin of the word, bileve meant “love, loyalty, commitment” and so to believe in God is really to assent to a love relationship with the Divine. If I believe in my spouse, I am affirming their potential to live life abundantly and thus committed lovingly to be part of that story, as is believing in my own self and the full potential God has placed within me.
We give Thomas a bit of a bad rap by calling him The Doubter, when in fact, he was only longing to see and be in relationship with Jesus, whom others had already seen. “Unless I touch the wounds in his hands and feet I will not believe” he boldly states. But in the end, he has no need to touch these wounds at all, because the presence of Jesus is enough and he is back in relationship with the one he thought was gone forever.
Doubt is not the opposite of belief. It is simply wrestling through with the mind what the heart already knows and has experienced. I often wonder how in the world the stories of Jesus could be true or how someone could die and literally come back to life – it seems beyond human comprehension. Yet, I have a relationship with the living Lord who nurtures my soul, comforts my longings and guides me with wisdom well beyond my own ken. So, in spite of any doubts I have, I, Faye Reynolds truly believe!